Singing As An Emotion Regulation Tool
By Natalie Reis, RP, MTA
No matter what brings you to therapy, perhaps one of the most common goals for individuals is learning how to better understand and process their emotions. In the world of therapy, we might call this emotion regulation: the ability to navigate our feelings in order to better manage our behaviours and reactions to things happening around us.
Emotion regulation might be important for so many reasons. Perhaps you feel “short-tempered”, and find it difficult to respond without snapping at your partner. You might find yourself experiencing extreme mood swings, and wish you could find a sense of balance with your emotions. Or, maybe you feel overwhelmed often, and hope to feel less stressed. Any, or all of these reasons might be great places to start with your therapist to work towards better regulating your emotions.
Big feelings can seem as though they are completely out of our control when they happen suddenly, and quickly. In these moments, we might find there is no conscious thought — the feeling surfaces, and soon we find ourselves acting in ways that afterwards we wish we hadn’t. But what might happen if we were able to bring more awareness to these moments? How might we be able to respond?
Depending on the approach you and your therapist decide to take, there might be numerous avenues towards enhanced emotion regulation. Depictions of therapy in mainstream culture often lead us to believe that sessions are solely conversation between two individuals across from each other in a stuffy room. But therapy can be so much more — especially when music is a part of sessions.
Singing as an important tool
Music, and more specifically singing, can serve as a powerful regulation tool for clients of any age. And singing in therapy is not only reserved for the Arethas and Celines of the world. It truly can be an engaging way to better understand what happens in our bodies when we experience an emotion.
Through singing, we practice bringing our conscious thought and attention to our body. Similarly, when exploring emotion regulation, we might practice noticing where we feel something in our body.
When you feel angry, how does your body react? Does your heart rate increase, do your hands clench into fists?
When you feel embarrassed, does your face become hot? Do your palms become sweaty?
When you feel sad, do you feel a heaviness in your chest? Do your eyes well up with tears?
When you feel at peace, do your shoulders relax? How is your heart rate?
These are just some thoughts to prompt reflection on how emotions may influence your body. Perhaps you experience some of the same, or maybe your body reacts differently. Noticing, is often the first step towards improved emotion regulation. And singing allows us to practice this fundamental aspect.
Mindfulness through singing
Singing is a full-body experience that requires us to be in touch with our breathing, our diaphragm, and many parts of our body. Before we even sing a note, we might check in with our shoulders, and our neck. Shoulders back, standing straight. Next, we might bring a hand to our diaphragm, and notice the slow rise and fall of our breathing. Deep breathing is an essential part of healthy singing, and allows us to practice an important grounding technique at the same time. When we are better able to regulate our breath, we can slow down our heart rate and signal to our nervous system it can calm down. When our body has slowed down, our thoughts can better find a solution to what is happening around us.
Through singing practice, your therapist may also encourage you to bring attention to how sound feels when you sing low, and when you sing high. Where do you feel the sound in your chest when you sing as low as possible? How does it change when you sing as high as you can go?
Even as you read this blog, you might find yourself bringing your thoughts to your breathing and upper body. All of these steps might be considered mindful moments, where we pause to take in what is happening right now. In many therapeutic approaches, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, mindfulness is an integral facet of learning how to respond to emotional distress. Rather than pushing our emotions to the side, or becoming hooked into judgmental thoughts of what we may be experiencing, mindfulness allows us to notice our feelings and bodily sensations, in order to best care for them.
Emotional expression through singing
Practicing mindfulness and connecting with the body can be foundational pieces of working towards better managing our behaviours and reactions. Beyond mindfulness, singing can also be a tool that promotes emotional expression, which may help us better manage intense feelings.
Having an outlet for our feelings is so important. Without being able to get things off our chest, we may find our emotions begin to build up over time, leaving us feeling drained, on edge, and overwhelmed. While verbalizing what we are feeling can be one great way of processing things in session, it doesn’t have to be the only way. Singing might be another tool that allows us to dig deeper and provide our feelings with not just words, but melody as well. Choosing to sing songs that represent how we feel may be one way of feeling validated, knowing we are not alone in the struggles we face.
Singing can add so much to your next session. It gives us the opportunity to practice grounding techniques, deep breathing, and mindfulness, and can provide us with a soft landing place for our thoughts. At KS Therapy Services, we have music psychotherapists who would be honoured to walk alongside you as you begin your journey towards better understanding and regulating your emotions. We offer free consultations so you can learn more about how music might be something beneficial to bring into your therapy sessions.
Stay tuned for other resources, including trainings for therapists and book recommendations.
